Thursday, October 18, 2007

The last couple of days have been incredibly difficult.

Without any warning or discussion with Ken and I, Emily's Craig therapy team took it upon themselves to tell Emily that she wasn't ready to go back to school and that would be their recommendation during our meeting with DSA. I can't begin to express how angry and disappointed Ken and I are. So much trust and faith was destroyed. I would really love for someone to explain to me how completely demoralizing a patient can be a therapy goal.

Ken and I responded to this development by informing the Craig staff that they were no longer welcome at the meeting, but the damage to Emily's psyche was done. She's terribly depressed and angry. We're hoping she can chanel her anger into working hard and proving them wrong.

The meeting with DSA actually went very well. We agreed to start the process of getting Emily set up for homebound instruction 2-hours a day on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This will give her a chance to review what she was working on last Spring and complete the work in all of her classes with a teacher that will work directly with her teachers at DSA. DPS has a number of resources we may or may not need in the future, but they were very encouraging. We also worked through how to handle her application/audition for next year. I also think that once she's working on school work more she'll start writing again. It's not what Emily was hoping for, but it's a first step in the right direction. Since it looks like Emily won't be back at DSA in January, we're also thinking of cutting back on the number of days at Craig to 2 days/week and getting Em set up with the National Sports Center for the Disabled to ski one day/week. It will be great therapy for her and get her back doing something she loves.
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1 comment:

Unknown said...

Dear Barb and Ken,

What a shock this must have been to you all! I am so sorry that no one from Craig prepared you for their recommendation, along with determining a therapeutic approach to that recommendation. What I do sometimes involves helping families understand that their most-hoped-for plan is premature, and helping them discover those extra steps they’ll need to take to get to their goal. Often the family is angry, but most of the time they realize that they can get to their goals by another route or on another timetable.

When the family helps design that alternate route, they can best support their adolescent. Em has been such a trooper during these long months, and it must be devastating to see her demoralized. I’m guessing that you can’t keep a tough kid down, so I know you’ll be there to help her design and buy into Alternate Plan B.

Anyhow, I'd hate to see her jump into an academic and social situation for which she is poorly prepared to resume. It’s good when a kid can spread her wings over something less than an academic abyss, even one in which she receives so much support. Also consider, because you and she want to see her resume a normal academic trajectory, that extra time to balance academic and PT and OT needs is something she has plenty of. Two of our own kids we held back a year to allow them to overcome early deficits, and neither has felt cheated. It’s harder to create a “year of grace” when a kiddo is a teen; by this time so much of their identity may be tied into their social circle. However, four teens later, we can attest that one’s social circle in high school becomes much less compelling compared to the academic challenges college presents.

Please don’t sweat the writing; Emily will write when she’s ready, both physically and occupationally, and when she has made sense of her reality. I am glad DPS has been supportive. This is the time when you become well-versed in resources to support a teen who has developed extraordinary special needs. Homebound instruction, with its finite and not-so-daily schedule, will allow Emily the time to “learn between teaching,” as you’ve commented on before, and to develop her own style and pace of academic growth, without the challenges of a rigorous and competitive social and academic setting.

Once past the devastation of Craig’s recommendations, and with the support of her family, Emily will use her intellect, spirit, and strength to become all that she was meant to be, in God’s own time. How fortunate she is to have you!

With love and hope,
Sigrid

October 23, 2007 at 8:22 PM

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